Friday 9 August 2013

3 Reasons Your Friends Won't Speak to You After Your Wedding


True confession. My best friend wouldn't speak to me for 6 months after our wedding. And I deserved it. Here's why your friends probably won't speak to you:
  1. You're a slavedriver with all your DIY projects
  2. You're a diva witch on your wedding day itself
  3. You completely forget about them after the wedding
DIY Hell
I was DIY queen. Seriously. My friend taught me to sew and I made my wedding gown. I had been a cake decorator, so of course I made the cake. Invitations? Why wouldn't I learn to emboss? You get the point. I made life a little difficult for friends and family in my quest to save money for the Jack Daniels budget.
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Cue incident one. I got severe carpal tunnel the week of my wedding and couldn't hold a pencil, let alone a decorating bag. So one of my poor bridesmaids was forced to step in and decorate the cake. Needless to say jello shots were involved and the middle of the cake may or may not have been involved in a drunken food fight.
Witchy Woman
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That was my gorgeous dress. Note the failure to steam it! Cue incident two (of two thousand on the wedding day). I was 15 minutes late for my own wedding as one of the groomsmen was caught running through the church with a steam iron!
And then there were the table cards. Oh the table cards. One of my bridesmaids was an amateur calligrapher and promised to make the table cards. Only. Not so much. As she told us an hour before the reception. And cue witchy woman. Seriously bitter witchy woman.
Never mind that my gorgeous husband had forgotten to give her the list of names and table numbers. I was ticked. We had to skip the portrait session in our historic venue as we sat in the bar like jerks filling out the table cards with ball point pens.
Yes, at the bar. So, I decided the only way I was going to get out of this emotional funk was to make good friends with Uncle Jack.
My husband stood up at the beginning of the reception. "We won't be going to each table, but we'd love to hang out with you tonight. She's in the white dress. I'm in the tux. We're either on the dance floor or at the bar."
At this point, some of my bridesmaids had had enough. Especially my best friend. Her parents drove 12 hours to get to our wedding, with our shower gifts in tow. And I couldn't be bothered to stop by their table!
Worse yet, by the end of the night, they mentioned they were leaving and I yelled a drunken "BYE!" and ran off to dance.
Post-Wedding Jerk
So my bestie was pissed. But wait, there's more. I was sooooo into my newly found wedded bliss that I didn't notice that she hadn't called me in months! She hadn't returned my calls either. Didn't notice. What a jerk! Me, I mean.
When I finally came out of my post wedding haze and realized that I was getting the silent treatment, I just kept calling til she finally answered. I made her promise to tell me immediately when I was being a jerk from now on. Isn't that what best friends are for?
Point is, don't be that witch! Here's a few things you can do before your friendships go off the rails:
  1. Make sure your DIY projects can possibly be complete by you. Only you. Then ask your friends if they'd like to join you for fun.

  2. Have fun on your wedding day. Drink, but not in anger.

  3. Call your friends and thank them right after the wedding.

Want to see a real witchy woman on her wedding day? I couldn't resist. I got permission from one of our first brides to show just a bit of her wedding video. Check out Bride Wars. No worries, a little booze and air guitar at the end of the evening made it all ok.

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