Now, it’s balance of power

Though it had been wafting in the air for some time, the eventual decamping of some governors and prominent members of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) into the All Progressives Congress (APC) still came with an element of surprise. 
It was a coup de grace, and I shouted in wonderment as the breaking news came.
In Nigerian politics today, the PDP is like a gravy train, and it is not easy to leave it for a party just aspiring for power at the centre.  Being a member of PDP, particularly at very prominent level, means unfettered access to free money, to power and all its appurtenances, to influence, to all that you need to be a swashbuckling Nigerian.
It is only someone truly interested in higher ideals, or sorely vexed with the perilous ways of the party, that will dump the PDP.  But at least four governors did so on Tuesday, and still counting.  A number of former governors also left the ruling party for the APC.
What we now have in Nigeria is a balance of power, instead of the skew and tilt that existed before Tuesday.  The PDP had always threatened to hold us captive for minimum of 60 years, simply because there was no balance of power in the country.  It had developed itself into a power grabbing machine, and not necessarily a political party run on democratic norms and principles.  But with the new development, the country now has balance of power, which Condoleezza Rice, former American Secretary of State says, “favours freedom.”  Yes, balance of power leads to stability, while imbalance is threat to everything, including democracy.
Tom Lehrer, an American singer and songwriter, wrote thus of balance of power:
“First we got the bomb, and that was good
Cause we love peace and motherhood
Then Russia got the bomb, but that’s okay
Cause the balance of power is maintained that way.”
In a manner of speaking, PDP has the bomb, and that is good. The APC also now got the bomb, and that’s okay.  Balance of power is maintained that way.  When the dust of who is where really settles, APC may have 18 governors (or thereabout), PDP will shrink from 23 to 16 (or thereabout), while Labour Party has one, and the All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA) has one.  We are now closer to a two-party arrangement, which some people believe is better for democracy, because there will be a balance of power.
Equally, when the dust eventually settles, the configuration of dominance in the National Assembly may change.  APC may become the party with the majority, as most lawmakers will likely go with their governors into the new party.  How things suddenly change!  Between the rising of the sun, and the going down thereof, the face of things may change.  Well, it changed last Tuesday.
What are the implications of the new scenario in Nigerian politics?  Plenty.
James T. Kirk, the American fictional character in Star Trek, says balance of power is the trickiest, most difficult, dirtiest game, “but the only one that preserves both sides.”  True.  The emerging position in our politics will not only preserve both sides (PDP and APC), it will also preserve our democracy.  Imagine if PDP continues to rule for 60 years as it had threatened.  What would have happened?  Ennui would set in, the political game would become jaded and uninspiring, tedium and lassitude would ensue, and Nigerians would be taken for granted at will.  We would have no voice, no choice, but just take the PDP warts and all.  If we tell them there is no bread, they would tell us to eat cake.  If we say naira is scarce, they would tell us to spend dollars.  We would simply be in a cul-de-sac.  No option, no alternative to PDP.  We would have been finished as a people.  But with current development, Nigerians now have a choice.  We can change those who rule us through our votes.
Votes.  Do they count here?  With balance of power, votes will have to count.  No single party can now manipulate the system unabashedly again, as we have seen since 1999.  Can any individual, party or electoral umpire give us the Maurice Iwu stuff, or what Attahiru Jega’s INEC did in Anambra on November 16, and get away with it?  Not on their lives!  Not with the balance of power we now have.  Any party that will win anything now will have to work for it.  No artifices again, no more sleight of hand.  You only get what you deserve henceforth.  No one can just beat anybody down again by sheer force of numbers and power of incumbency.
Talking of incumbency, a number of people have criticized the fact that the APC had made so much effort to woo serving PDP governors into its camp.  They say why invite the same people you had criticized so stridently into your camp, if you had ideological distinction?  Good argument.  But only puritanical.  Good argument that will not lead to change of power structure in any form.  For there to be a change in Nigeria, you need the levers of powers, the mechanics of control.  If you don’t have those, your ideas, as good as they may be, will simply remain such – ideas.  No change, no impact.
In Nigeria, as I have always maintained, incumbency means opportunism, it means ability to influence the system, even to manipulate.  Without being an incumbent, for instance, would a Goodluck Jonathan ever have been substantive president?  Not likely.  Will an Ibrahim Geidam have been governor in Yobe?  Not likely.  Will a Patrick Yakowa (God rest his soul) have been governor in Kaduna?  Not likely.  All these got into their respective offices when their predecessors died, and they stepped in, according to the dictates of our constitution.  Without such developments, they may never have got to where they are now.  So, does APC need serving governors to wrest power at the centre?  They do.  Without having power base in the states, power at the centre would just remain a pie in the sky, a Sugarcandy Mountain as exists in the dreamy world of Moses in Animal Farm by George Orwell.
Remember Moses?  He was the old raven who always dreamed of a mysterious country called Sugarcandy Mountain, to which all animals went when they died.  Situated somewhere in the sky, it was Sunday seven days a week in the country, clover was available all season, and lump sugar and linseed cake grew on the hedges.  Dreamer, wake up!  Without going for serving governors, no matter the ideological holes you can pick in the decision, power would simply be a Sugarcandy Mountain to the APC.  And ‘change,’ which is the slogan of the party, would just be mere mantra.  Nigeria would simply remain in the servitude of PDP, not even for 60 years, but forever.
Another implication is the onerous challenge now imposed on the APC.  The governors and former PDP chieftains left because they were victims of undemocratic practices and injustice.  Can they afford to experience the same in the new party?  No.  The Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN), a major player in the parties that fused into APC, was known for certain practices that were deemed undemocratic. Rather than let its candidates emerge through primaries, it handpicks them.  Old things should pass away now, and all things should become new.  If such tendencies show up in APC, it will create a problem for the party.  Candidates at all levels must emerge freely and fairly.
APC has the challenge of building a near-seamless party, since it is a conglomeration of ACN, the old Congress for Progressive Change (CPC), All Nigeria Peoples Party (ANPP) and part of APGA.  Olagunsoye Oyinlola, though not fully in APC yet, is collaborating with Chief Bisi Akande, the man he dislodged to become Osun State governor in 2003.  I saw both men embracing on television.  Miraculous!  Abdulhahi Adamu, former governor of Nasarawa State is in the same party with Tanko Al-Makura, the man who took the state from Aliyu Akwe Doma, who had been installed by Adamu.  Wonderful!  And Bukola Saraki, former Kwara State governor, will now be in the same party as Belgore, the man he fought grit for grit, tackle for tackle, before he installed his own successor in Abdulfatah Ahmed.  Amazing!  Strange bedfellows all, surely, but they must make the sleep sweet.  There will be uneasy times between the founders and the joiners, but there should be sacrifice on both sides.  No first class or second class citizens.
Some former G7 governors are still staying back in the PDP. Aliyu Wamakko of Sokoto, Sule Lamido of Jigawa, and Babangida Aliyu of Niger, are yet to take the plunge.  It is their rights to move or not to.  But one thing is clear.  It will never be the same for them in PDP again.  Having been part of what was called New PDP or ‘rebel governors,’ the mainstream PDP will never trust them again.  In fact, they would be suspected as moles who stayed back to further weaken the party, and pass vital information to the APC.  Time will tell.
Again, with the configuration of the power game in Nigeria now, will the average Jigawa person, or the Sokoto and Niger person ever vote for the candidate of the PDP in 2015?  Not likely.  So, the governors who stayed back will simply find out that they are no longer in charge of their states. In 2011, those states were won by the CPC in the presidential election. In Jigawa, CPC won 663,994, while the PDP won 419,252. In Niger, CPC won 652,574, while PDP won 321,429. In Sokoto, CPC won 540,769, while PDP won 309,057. Nothing shows that the PDP will not fare worse in those states in 2015, and it will simply be beyond the governors. The people will just revolt with their votes.
The days and years ahead surely promise to be quite dramatic and interesting.  PDP will never dash out power, APC will have to take it, if it wants it seriously enough.  But no doubt, Nigeria and her democracy will be better for it.  No possibility of domination of the political space by one party again.  No more swagger, no tyranny, no bluster.  The true breath of fresh air is here.

TheSun

Scruples in politics? Forget it

It was not completely an anti-climax but the long-expected earthquake the exit of the powerful governors from the PDP should have caused did not materialize after all. First, five of the expected seven governors attended the meeting at which the final decision to cross the carpet from the PDP to the All Progressives Congress (APC) was taken.
That might not necessarily cause much concern because as a former military governor of Oyo State, the late General Abdulkareem Adisa, would have put it, any venture, especially an examination performance in which a student attained seventy percent should be regarded as near excellent performance. The only problem with the G7 governors’ seeming seventy percent performance on their declaration for APC is that even the seventy percent performance shrank to less than forty-five percent as two of the five governors at the declaration meeting impliedly distanced themselves.
From seven of the original governors initially threatening hell and brimstone on PDP’s future to only three who eventually stood their ground. That was not good enough. Neither should that offer any comfort to the PDP and its leaders on their political fortunes in 2015. In fact, privately, the PDP should be worried about its latest political discomfort towards 2015, an inevitable fall-out of the showdown with the protesting governors.
There are wide-ranging implications for the latest development among feuding members of the PDP. This political show is hardly a surprise. All along, any talk of reconciliation was more of playing for time to land the killer punch by any of the two sides. Towards that end, the PDP leadership (especially President Jonathan and national chairman Bamanga Tukur) kept on humiliating and persecuting the arrowhead of the revolt, Rivers State governor Rotimi Amaechi through an unofficial (?) alternate governor Police Commissioner Mbu James Mbu. Naturally, it occurred to other governors in the showdown that should such go unquestioned, another governor among them would be next.
The more the other governors appeared to show solidarity with their colleague Rotimi Amaechi, the other members of the protesting governors were scandalized for the financial crimes of their offspring. To be fair, that was in return for the known plans of the protesting governors to take their destiny into their hands by clandestinely perfecting future political prospects on the platform of another party.
Whether to enhance reconciliation prospects or to make clear to him (that) they had had enough of what PDP could offer, one man the protesting governors seemed to rely on through consultations was the party’s former chairman of Board of Trustees, ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo. At a stage, unconfirmed media reports were that Obasanjo advised the protesting governors not to quit the PDP. That might be true or could be merely for public consumption.
If Obasanjo sincerely prevailed on the governors not to quit the PDP and yet, they proceeded to join the APC in total defiance, the only implication is that Obasanjo’s influence (if any) in PDP today is that a loyal military officer like (retired Brigadier-General) Olagunsoye Oyinlola would defy his Commander-in-Chief? Impossible.
On the other hand, Obasanjo is one of those who may be disenchanted with how PDP is run today. The former president has been humiliated at the party’s national level, South-West zonal level and indeed Ogun State level. Forced to resign as the party’s Chairman of Board of Trustees, but in truth only to pre-empt an impending voting out of office, the same Obasanjo was later to see himself rendered almost irrelevant with the scheming out of his nominees as national, zonal and Ogun State party officers and only recently, his appointees as Federal Ministers.
Goodluck Jonathan would be miscalculating to assume Obasanjo would take such lying low. There should therefore be no surprise if Obasanjo endorsed the APC for the protesting governors. Even then, the picture that emerges is the degree of scruples in Nigerian politics. Not the least because Obasanjo’s potential friends in APC are the same Nigerians he maligned and disgraced out of office in his days of almighty rule in Aso Rock.
The then AD (mainly Yoruba) South-West governors who supported him (Obasanjo) for a second term in 2003 only to be disappointed out at office much to their regret? Former Vice-President Atiku Abubakar  he (Obasanjo) tried to discredit out of office after the man endorsed him for a second term?
There was also the mutual embrace of former Lagos State governor Bola Tinubu and former Osun State governor Prince Olagunsoye Oyinlola. For political harmony, that might be alright but others might not be amused especially victims of collateral damage of the struggle for power by both men. There was a top lawyer whose career remains uncertain for allegedly making phone calls to judges during election petition trials and another trial judge similarly faulted for receiving phone calls from litigants.
The allegations were made in both cases by supporters of these politicians, who must have hacked into the private phone conversations of the victims of the collateral damage while bitter political rivalry was considered legitimate. Today, that rivalry has dissolved into joint effort against a common political enemy.
So far, there are speculations that the carpet crossing may soon alter the strength of political parties in the National Assembly in particular. Further speculations are that state governors and such members of the National Assembly involved in such change of party platforms may lose their seats.
What are the prospects? One of the early warning shots at the outbreak of hostilities within the PDP was fired by national chairman, Bamanga Tukur, who, obviously aiming at containing the spread of the revolt, threatened to write the National Assembly leadership to declare vacant, seats of his party assemblymen who might cross to another party.
Nigerian constitution does not support Bamanga Tukur’s threat and in fact is rendered impossible by section 68(1) (2) of Nigerian constitution which asserts that seats will only be lost “…provided that membership of the latter (new) party is not as a result of a division in the political party of which he was previously a member or of a merger of two or more political parties or factions by one of which he was previously sponsored…”
Consequently, the PDP had been the major beneficiary of carpet crossers from other factionalized political parties. Since 1999, the first senators Seye Ogunlewe and the late Wahab Dosunmu took advantage of the division within Alliance for Democracy and joined the PDP and never lost their seats.
Equally, following division within Progressive Peoples Alliance (PPA), former governor Ikedim Ohakim of Imo State crossed to the PDP without losing office. He was later followed by PPA governor Theodore Orji of Abia State who similarly joined the PDP without necessarily resigning.
The new PDP warriors (now in APC) were careful enough to first ensure a division within the PDP, which they sustained before joining the APC. With these precedents set by PDP and the well-worded stipulation of factions within a party provided in the constitution, PDP members in national and state assemblies willing to join any other party will be safe to do so without losing their seats.
What is more, when the new PDP leaders (now APC members) visited National Assembly, Senate President, David Mark, obviously guided by section 68(1) (g) of Nigerian constitution quoted above, publicly assured that he (Senate President) would not declare any member’s seat vacant.
The magnitude of its political problems should now be dawning on the PDP leadership as indicated by latest developments. For example, the initial cynicism raised by the seeming opting out by some governors from joining the APC turned out to be premature. While Kwara governor Abdulfatah Ahmed did not join in announcing the APC as their new party, a day later, the new PDP in Kwara formally declared for the APC. In effect, short of formal announcement, Kwara emerged as the first PDP government-controlled state to be taken over by the APC.
PDP’s imminent loss of majority in the National Assembly should not necessarily pose a threat to the tenure of President Jonathan provided (repeat provided) the party does not volunteer for suicide. Currently, America’s President Barrack Obama’s Democratic Party does not control the House of Representatives. The Republicans in charge are not necessarily flexing their muscle.
In the latest political development in Nigeria, even if the APC, as expected, commands two-thirds majority, such should compel mutual respect towards the 2015 elections. If, however, as being widely speculated, the PDP or indeed President Jonathan instigates impeachment proceedings in state assemblies to remove governors considered to be offending, the logical consequence will be counter-impeachment proceedings in the National Assembly against President Jonathan.
No side can or should dare the other without repercussions. Whatever Jonathan’s fate in 2015, he henceforth faces the urgent and uneasy task of containing the hawks around him.

TheSun

Nigeria: Lebanese Terrorist In Case Linked To NSA Aliyu Gusau, Sentenced To Life

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Nov. 30, 2013
NewsRescue- A Lebanese suspected Hezbollah spy, Talal Ahmad Roda has been sentenced to ‘life’ in Nigeria in connection to war ammunition found in a bunker in Kano. Two other suspects, one, the owner of Amigo supermarket in Abuja were ordered immediate release and return of all their property.
This case of terrorism is however not without connections to Nigeria’s 3 time NSA, Aliyu Gusau, who was in reportedly in charge of security of the nation at the time when such a massive cache of arms were imported and shipped to Kano, and has been directly fingered of being linked to this case as well as Boko Haram terror. See: NewsRescue- General Aliyu Mohammed “Die-to-rule” Gusau Exposed As Top Boko Haram Sponsor
Weapons recovered were 17 AK 47 rifles, 44 magazines, four land mines and 12 RPG bombs, 14 RPG chargers, 11 66 mm anti-tanks weapons, one SMG magazine, 11, 433 rounds of 7.26 mm special, 76 hand grenades, rocket-propelled guns, and 122 calibre artillery and anti-mine weapons, one pistol and several magazines.
Nothing has yet been said about the outcome of any investigation of Gen. Aliyu Gusau who is married to the sister of the current NSA, Sambo Dasuki, and widow and ‘estate-key holder’ of Babangida’s bank man, Late Aliyu Dasuki.
Related: NewsRescue-Nigeria Terror Mastermind is US Informant with Links to Hezbollah — Media, Wikileaks Investigation
Does the Nigerian government only have teeth to bite when it is in regard to foreigners?
Boko Haram is now an FTO, which means, hopefully for Nigerians the United States will start to go after monies of individuals like Gusau and others related who are aided and protected by Nigeria’s corrupt government.

NewsRescue

ASUU President Seeks Proper Remuneration Of Workers

The President, Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU), Dr Nasir Fagge, on Monday in Abuja called for appropriate remuneration of Nigeria’s workforce to bolster the morale of workers.

Fagge made the call at a two-day stakeholders forum organise by National Salaries Incomes and Wages Commission (NSIWC).
The forum was on the review of the existing job evaluation and grading system in the Nigerian public service.
Fagge said that productivity in Nigeria was low because “people who do not contribute to nation building earned the highest pay”.
He said that a lot of well-meaning Nigerians had failed to contribute immensely to building the nation due to the anomalies related to remuneration.
He advised the authorities to ensure that the recommendations arising from the forum were properly implemented.
“Productivity is not commensurate to remuneration in the country. There are a lot of people in Nigeria who do not contribute much to nation building but they earn the highest pay.
“The major issue behind Nigeria’s under-development is that we have not been doing what is right in the remuneration system.
In other nations remuneration is directly proportionate to productivity. “The earlier we make sure that productivity is remunerated accordingly the better for us,’’ Fagge said.

InformationNigeria

‘Bamanga wants to expel Baraje, Oyinlola from PDP’

by Andrew Agbese

The Abubakar Kawu Baraje led new Peoples Democratic Paty (nPDP) yesterday raised an alarm saying four of its leaders including its chairman and the reinstated national secretary of the PDP, Prince Olagunsoye Oyinlola would be expelled from the party tomorrow.

The nPDP leaders namely; Baraje, Oyinlola, Sam Jaja and Ibrahim Kazaure are currently under suspension from the party and have been asked to appear before the disciplinary committee of the party to defend themselves against charges of engaging in anti party activities.
The new PDP in a statement by its national publicity secretary, Eze Chukwuemeka Eze, said the aim of asking Oyinlola and the three other leaders of the faction to appear before the disciplinary committee of the party is to expel them from the party.
He said, “Tukur’ desperation to illegally expel the G4 is yet another manifestation of the impunity which started with the unjust, unfair and unconstitutional dissolution the Adamawa State Executive Committee of the party, followed by series of other unjust acts of impunity including the dissolution of the Rivers State PDP Executive and the suspension of the Governor of Sokoto State for allegedly not receiving Alhaji Tukur’s phone call.”
The faction however maintained its position that its members will not appear before the committee saying the committee is illegal.
The nPDP said Tukur has vowed that nobody can force him to reinstate Prince Oyinlola as the national secretary of the PDP as well as stop him from ensuring that the four leaders of the faction currently on suspension are thrown out of the party.
It called on the founding fathers of the party to intervene to save the party from collapse.
“We are forced to cry out because of the unbelievable silence of our revered party elders in the face of the chain of developments instigated by factional national chairman, Alhaji Bamanga Tukur, which has put the party at the edge of the precipice.
 “We therefore call on our revered party elders and other well-meaning Nigerians to rise up with one voice and one purpose to put a stop to all forms of impunity and injustice by the group that parades itself as the national leadership of the PDP located at Wadata Plaza in Abuja. The battle should not be left to the New PDP alone because, as the ruling party since Nigeria’s return to democracy in May 1999, the country’s fate is also tied to the fate of PDP,” the nPDP stated.

DailyTrust

EXPOSED: Real reason Christopher Kolade resigned as SURE-P Chairman

By Wale Odunsi 


DAILY POST – Chairman of the Subsidy Re- investment and Empowerment Programme (SURE-P), Dr. Christopher Kolade, has resigned.
The former Nigeria’s High Commissioner to the United Kingdom, in a letter to President Goodluck Jonathan, said he was leaving at the end of this month before his 81st birthday, which comes up in December.
Recall that Kolade’s Deputy, Major- General Mammam Kontagora (rtd), who would have replaced him, died in May this year.
The development means that the presidency must come up with replacement to fill the two positions in a matter of days.
The letter which conveyed the outgoing chairman’s message dated September 25 and entitled ‘Withdrawal from Chairmanship of the SURE-P Committee’ reads: “I wish to inform you, respectfully, of my decision to resign from the position of Chairman of the SURE-P Committee.
“My desire is that the resignation should take effect as soon as Mr. President names a new chairman, but not later than the end of November, 2013.
“Mr. President, it has been a worthwhile experience for me to serve as chairman since the inauguration of the committee in February 2012. However, as I approach my 81st birthday, I wish to retire from the more time and energy consuming parts of my responsibilities and activities, one of which is the SURE-P Committee chairmanship.
“Mr. President, please accept my sincere thanks and appreciation for the opportunity to serve in the position of chairman, as well as my prayers for good progress and success for Nigeria in the years ahead.”
Kolade had stated that although he is still mentally and physically fit, time has come for him to attend to his private life and his family.
Shedding more light on why he chose to bow out at this time, the former Chairman of Cadbury Plc told THISDAY: “As at the time I was asked to come and take charge of the SURE-P, on the day that the President spoke to me, I was a few days away from my 79th birthday. So at the end of last year, I was 80 years old. I thank God that I’m strong, and in good health and my simple mind is still ticking, but there comes a time when you are at my age that you ask yourself, is this what you should be doing now? Should you be spending your time at this moment fighting rumours and trying to explain the same information many times?
“So, middle of this year, I went to the President and said to him, I want to leave but if you remember my deputy chairman then, Mamman Kontagora had just died. So the President now agreed that he would appoint another Deputy chairman and that I would work with this Deputy chairman for a while so that the place is not suddenly empty. The Deputy chairman dies, the chairman goes but that is what we have been working on and I have actually written a letter to the President to let him know that latest, at the end of this month, I’m out of SURE-P. So, he has that letter.”
The respected administrator added that he decided to make his planned exit public in order to prevent another round of rumour.
“We feed on rumours and both in my family and in my religion, they don’t like rumours. The letter was dated September 25, 2013. So if you hear or if rumour begins to indicate that I’m leaving, I want you to know that members of my Committee already know that I’m going. So, it’s not a secret.”

LibertyReport

Meet the Woman Who Accidentally Explained Poverty to the Nation

Why Poor People's Decisions Make Sense

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At this point, enough people are asking that I will tell you about myself, because I am getting a lot of the same questions. I was raised middle class, by a factory worker and a teacher. They are my grandparents, and they are Mom and Dad. But I was given to them after I had lived with an overwhelmed mother and a father away in the Navy, and Mom has always been convinced that I suffered terrible emotional issues because of my very early years. And so we embarked on a lifetime of therapy, which is where I picked up my knack for introspection. I was literally raised to it. I have memories of playing games on the office floor of a beautiful woman named Kerrie while we talked about my day and how I felt. There were others, but she is my favorite.
During the course of therapy, they tested my IQ. You have to understand that it isn't actually terribly impressive. It is higher than average, to be sure. But my mother grew up quite poor in Detroit and she is very impressed by these things and so she decided that I was a genius. And she nurtured it. She is a teacher. I was given music lessons and she learned languages with me. I have no aptitude for dance or art, but we tried those too. I was in competitions when I was five, and they lasted until college. And so that is how I know how to talk to people who are in the upper middle class. Because I got a partial scholarship to Cranbrook but we couldn't afford the other half. But my parents knew damn well what Cranbrook was and they were determined that I would have a chance at it. They gave up much to send me to private schools. Not expensive ones, I went to a small religious elementary. They taught me much about Satan and also had strict academic standards for the ten kids or so in every grade.
If you are old enough, you will recall that there was a time in the late '80s and early '90s in which Donahue was talking about the secret satanic sex cults that were a plague in private daycare centers, because of course. My mom had just bought a daycare. It was her dream. But as it turned out, there was a child being sexually abused that was under her care. It was just happening at home instead of at the school. The kid's mom couldn't believe that her new husband would do such a thing, and so she called everyone. Everyone. This is not the first time in my life reporters have been on the line when I picked up the phone. It's just that the last time this happened I was eight. It was a nightmare, and it was one of those things that went fucking viral. Not in reach, but in ridiculousness. Children actually told grownups that my mother had tried to shoot them with a gun she kept in her desk and so they got the other gun and shot her in the arm. And the adults believed this. My mother, quite reasonably, promptly went completely nuts. We suddenly left Michigan and moved to Utah. And so that is why stability and trust are not things that I have easily. I was taught to be ready, to be wary, to be mistrustful, because the world is a hard place.
And that is how the real troubles started. My parents found solace in the local religion. I was wearing flannel and listening to grunge. My mother was not a rational person most of the time. It is why I am willing to reason with unreasonable people. And what you have to realize is that I was very young and my world was spinning too. I could not understand that she was overwhelmed. I only saw her battening the hatches and driving me into perfection and going ballistic if I fucked the slightest thing up with the best of intentions. I was a teenager, but one dealing with parents who were barely holding themselves together. It was hell for everybody involved. And so I worked very hard at excelling and I graduated high school when I was sixteen and I went away, as far away as I could get, to college. That is how I know how to make it on my own.
And I promptly made the sorts of decisions you would expect out of a kid that age with low self-esteem and no social skills and access to what I saw as the cool kids who saw me as an intelligent kid sister and were willing to include me in things. I didn't make it long.
I spent some time bouncing in and out of school and joined my first political campaign. It was amazing. And so I went for it. I moved all over the country and chased jobs and found that I was never quite a good fit, because I never have fit in anywhere entirely. And when it wasn't campaign season I worked pretty much whatever I could find. It's not high pay compared to relative expense until you're pretty well-established, particularly if you are not good with money. I was poor in the way that most people who do not have resources are when they are young and idealistic. I didn't mind it much. I thought it would end when I was ready. And so that is how I know things about media and framing and what sort of good I can do and how to pick stories out of shared experience.
And then I was hit by a drunk driver, fucked up my teeth, and took the insurance check before I realized that it meant they would not be covering dental, thankyouverymuch. I was 19, I think. I simply trusted what I was told by the people in authority. I don't think I can be blamed, although I have never been so foolish since. But my teeth kept getting worse. There are a lot of reasons, I have not been gentle on them, but I have at least cleaned them. I know what Crest is. It's just that when teeth crack and are not attended to, they develop problems, which spread no matter what you do unless what you are doing is going to a dentist. Which I could not afford. And as the problem got worse I saw my prospects fade. I understand it. I would make the same call. Many people think I am simply too dumb to know how to brush my teeth. Whether or not that is true, it is not a first impression on behalf of a candidate or company that you can give. And so that is where the slide started.
During this time I was simply spinning around the world and hoping to make sense of my life. I struggle with things sometimes. I do not know why, whether it's inherent or whether my mother is right or whether what happened to my mother is what did it. But sometimes the world seems suddenly bizarre and I have to practice a strict control in order to behave as though the world were real. I have seen many therapists. I know what it is. I can't afford the medicine, and so I have learned simply to control it because it is not the worst case in the world. But it took me a lot of years to figure out how to function properly. And I am often depressed because I am intelligent enough to see that I have much to give if I could figure out a way to do it. Those things are what I struggle against and why I have made many demonstrably bad decisions in my life, because I had lost the fight with myself. And so that is how I kept sliding even when I had all the potential in the world. I simply had too much life to process. Mental illness is a common thing in the world I live in.
And that is the answer to the question many of you have asked. How is it that someone with such clarity and evocation has any right to assert that they are poor? It is likely untrue. Well, it is and it isn't. You have to understand that the piece you read was taken out of context, that I never meant to say that all of these things were happening to me right now, or that I was still quite so abject. I am not. I am reasonably lower working class. I am exhausted and poor and can't make all my bills all the time but I reconciled with my parents when I got pregnant for the sake of the kids and I have family resources. I can always make the amount of money I need in a month, it's just that it doesn't always match the billing cycles.
When I got pregnant, we were in a typical lower-working-class bit of fuckuppery. We had moved to a city so my husband could go to school on his GI bill. But due to some sort of oversight, we never did start getting the living stipend that we had budgeted for. We had decided that my career was over and it was his turn, so instead of looking for work in the field I loved, I took a job in fast food. So did he. We saved two pay periods and got the cheapest apartment we could find, figuring that we would be getting the stipend soon and could move someplace better when we did. And the checks didn't come for five months. I eventually reached out to legislator's offices and they got the wheels turning. We would get a lump sum for what was due us. I was well along and while I had medicaid, I couldn't find anyone accepting new patients except a charity clinic that told me that Jesus wanted me to keep my baby but had very little information for me about the state of my uterus. So instead of missing a day of work to hear about Jesus, I got books and read websites and did what I could on my own. Women have been pregnant for thousands of years and humanity seems to be doing okay. And I am smart. And then our apartment flooded and we still didn't have the check and then suddenly everything that we had carefully saved for this baby was gone. We had two feet of water in the place. We went back to the motel, which at least did not have bedbugs. In Cincinnati, that's a big deal. But the cost was double our rent, and we had barely been floating when we had clothes and things, much less nothing and extra rent to pay. And the frustrating thing about it all was that we had done the fucking thing correctly. We would have had more than enough money for a decent apartment and baby things if we had been getting our stipend, the one we were contractually due. And so that is how I know what it is to rage at the universe because you are doing everything you can and it is still not enough.
When my parents came to be there for the birth and they saw what we were dealing with they moved us to Utah and gave us a trailer to live in. And then when we had our second and final daughter they helped us find a house to live in and now we have some space for once. That is the sort of person I am. I chased dreams that I couldn't afford for longer than was strictly necessary, and only gave that up when children made life suddenly more stable. But fate is a chancy thing, and I am after all perfectly suited to write about poverty. I have been privileged while poor, because I am fucked up and spent decades in therapy, because I have been given access to these words, I am well-suited to this. I do not speak for everyone that makes the same amount I do. I speak for many of us. Those are different, and I do not confuse them. I did not think that I would ever do better than scrape by, but I am managing that without relying on charity.
I have had much luck and many breaks. Things could always have been much worse for me. But I have lived in the places where the worst situations are dealt with. I have seen what it is to be worse off than I am, because I am white and all of my class markers are fixable because I did not develop them as part of my being and my mental problems are not so severe and I do not live with a disability and my parents were kind and loving and just didn't know what to do. Because I happen to have been given this outlet I am telling these stories. Some are mine, some are things I have seen. All are a mix of luck and strength and intentions and failure and success. Very few people in this world are saintlike. Most people who are poor have not gotten there faultless. I didn't. And so I am talking about the people who are of average moral character, not the ones who have a clearly obvious leaning toward evil or good. The people I speak for are not the ones shooting each other, but everyone damn well knows what it sounds like when those people visit. And they are likely to hustle and make the most of every chance, because that is what success is.
Coming up with enough money that you are comfortable is the real American dream, and it is one that the people I am used to don't believe in as much as hope hard for. I have spent my life on the margins due to my own actions and an equal amount of things that I cannot control. One does not negate the other, but if you are looking for a paragon of virtue you will not find many among the people who have had to decide whether to work in a morally dubious establishment or not work at all.
When people say that I am perhaps not legitimate, it is maybe sort of true if you mean that when I was at the low points I did not have time for blogs and since I do now I am not at the bottom. That is a true thing. But it is untrue if you mean that you think that because I have some knowledge of and access to an intellectual culture higher than my station I must be the average Gawker or Times reader. I am not. There are a lot of us, particularly since the economy collapsed and, well, you read the same news I do. You remember. We remember what it is to be professional a little bit and we have a few close friends who have done well for themselves and a few that haven't. My closest friends are both living with family. One has chased work all over the country and just can't seem to find the right door for her foot. One is a single mom of a severely autistic teenaged daughter who has hocked her future to put herself through grad school. And all of it while supporting her family and spotting friends if they were desperate. They are the ones who have done everything correctly. I just happen to have this skill to tell the stories. I didn't even know it until last week.
The point is, I did not ask for any of this. I just wrote a thing on a Gawker forum. Everything that has come after is because something about the way I said it has resonated with hundreds of thousands of people. Everything that has come after is magic. I do not know if it is earned, precisely, but I am familiar with the concept of grants, and if people are determined I would be remarkably stupid to turn it down. I have learned not to make promises that I am not certain I can keep, and so here is what I have:
This is a shot at a second start, now that I have gotten over myself and understand what it is to be an adult. I have always had great potential and some talent for things. I am lucky that way. I have the tools that I need to take this gift and do good things with it. I think that even if everything ends tonight, if the Internet finds another talent in some corner and moves on, I have done something good here. That makes me happy. That people are willing to reward me for that is humbling, and I consider it a grant to give me the time to keep speaking about these things I have seen, because I am the sort of person who reads Woodward and Stiglitz and also the sort of person who has lived with three prostitutes who were great because they always paid the rent on time. I can explain one to another, a little. At least I can shed a tiny bit of light on it, and maybe that is how we manage to get the votes we need to extend SNAP benefits if we can afford to extend agricultural subsidies. Because I know those policies, I watch politics and policy instead of pop culture because I am a nerd, but my best friends are directly impacted by that change. And so I can speak about the human impact. I do not think, overall, that people are giving me this money because they feel poorly for me. There are a lot of fundraisers that are unfunded of people in much more dire circumstances.
I set up a fundraiser after the first 50 people asked how they could help me write. I think that people are giving me this money because they think I can do a good thing and they do not care so much about how I got here because they understand that it is easy to do. Not that it is good, but that it is average. I think that they are giving me this because they see that I have the skill and will be able to do something to help. I am not stupid enough to not take this shot. But I would like to tell you how I am going to handle it.
First, I have been contacted by an agent and am writing a book proposal. If I manage to sell the book, it will reach people I could not on my own. If it doesn't sell, I will have a rough outline of something that I can publish for free on the Internet. I will write about these things on my blog. Because people have given me this money to write.
Be very clear about this, please: I am quitting one of my day jobs. The one that is an hour's drive through snow in the mountains. And I have actually nailed a bigger contract with my second job, which pays better hourly anyway. This has given me the tiny break I needed to be able to make it without utter exhaustion. I will use the extra time to sleep more than I am used to. I will see my kids more because now I can work from home, and so our budget is expanded because childcare is not an issue. Tom is keeping his job. This is all magic and wonderful, but it is fleeting. We have learned and are careful now. And we have more than us two relying on us taking this oddity and using it wisely.
And so I will accept with gratitude, and I will give this money to tax lawyers to deal with and I will use it as long as I can to speak about these things I have seen, since that is why it has been given to me. I will not waste it on frivolity, but I will spend it on being healthy and making sure that if one of us gets the flu the electric bill is still paid. And I am giving some away, because many people have helped us and I think they need some magic. I am an arbitrary pick out of millions of hardworking and talented people. People had raised some money for dental surgery. I am grateful, but have found someone to give it to given my changing circumstances. I will pay a bill or two to the people who have loved me that are struggling. I might take a thousand just to do things like get a really comfy blanket that fits the bed perfectly. I am being told that it is wisest in my situation to simply pick a small bit and that is what you have to spend. That makes a lot of sense. So I will have a bit of luxury, because if nothing else I have spent endless hours on the Internet discussing these things and being patient with trolls and I have earned a small bit, I think.
I will say that I will always speak about this in any medium or venue that I can access. For some reason I have this chance to explain realities that a lot of people never imagine, and I will do it at every opportunity. That is all that I can promise you, but I think it is enough.

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