Here’s a conundrum for you:
· First, pick the number of times a week you would like to have a mineral drink. (It should be more than 1 but less than 10).
· Multiply this number by 2.
· Add 5.
· Multiply it by 50.
· If you’ve already had your birthday this year add 1762. If you haven't, add 1761.
· Now
subtract the four-digit year that you were born.
You should have a
three-digit number
The first digit of this was your original number of
the number of times a week you would like to have a mineral drink.
The
next two numbers are.......
YOUR AGE!
When
a friend told me that she could work out my age using a formula known
as beer math, it initially sounded strange. When she started working it
out using the above formula, the whole ‘add’ this, ‘subtract’ that and ‘multiply’
those seemed complicated. But at the end when I saw that the formula
added up to my age and the number of drinks I had chosen in my mind, the
whole complex process seemed to somehow make sense. The fact that the
answer to the puzzle is accurate no matter the number of drinks chosen
and the age of the person I tried it on reinforces, in my mind, the
notion that sometimes one is confronted with a scenario that, on the
face of it, seem unworkable, but in the end, the result makes sense.
Much like the way I view Nigeria, a country of 250 different types of
people lumbered together in one geographical location. A country with so
much difficulties and dimensions but in the end, despite our troubles,
it’s a country that makes sense to me.
Presently
this nation exists within an atmosphere of divide and blame; so much so
that people are calling for the separation of the country openly. The
game where we blame each other for all the evils in our country never
resonated more than a millisecond with me. I have always believed that
the past and present government officials who have fluffed up the
affairs of the country and the extremists that have chosen to exact a
culture of violence are individually responsible for their own actions
and it is unreasonable to extend guilt by association to everyone else
with whom they share the same ethnic identity.
It
is a fact that every decision, embezzlement and indiscretion made by
our governments and leaders have been made by people from the various
different parts of the country as they assemble a government of national
character. It is no news to Nigerians that kidnapping, 419, armed
robberies has been carried out by the different array of people across
this country. Even the bombings and violence now predominantly carried
out by Boko-Haram first reared its ugly head when the Niger-Delta
militants unleashed terror on civilians in the FCT, Lagos and Port
Harcourt. It is unlikely that at any point a region, as a collective,
has endorsed the destruction of another as a matter of policy. It is a
belief fuelled purely by dogma, self-delusion, ignorance and bigotry in
varying levels.
When
commentators and terrorists publicly refer to Nigerians in “us and
them’ terms; when they suggest the separation of Nigeria in order to rid
the country of ‘the bad-people’, it amounts to the pursuit of an agenda
to revoke the full civil liberties of other Nigerians. Also, the people
who think they are defending their freedom of speech and action by
unreasonably reducing every mishap and tragedy in this country down to
ethnic and religious indices, have not the ability to exercise these
freedoms responsibly, or judge whether others do so because they are
equally segregating others.
The
truth is that anyone who continues to spread disharmony and promote
dichotomy between the different regional and ethnic groups in the name
of fighting for freedom, is not so different to those that set out to
harm innocent Nigerians through violence or otherwise. They play a large
part in perpetuating the bloody ethnic conflicts and tense
inter-religious hatred we see today. We demonize the extremes of
violence, but each form of violence exaggerates an endemic process of
persuasion by those at the top of the social order. Most violence is not
idiosyncratic: An irresponsible and careless expression by influential
members of a society has the greatest potential of taking on a physical
form. If those of us who are better informed continue to encourage
inaccurate information of negative rhetoric and stereotype, then
Nigerians, together or apart, will never overcome.
We
need to start addressing the real issues and the particular individuals
that have decayed this nation and apportioning blame where blame is due
rather than allowing primitive sentiments to oppress our minds. If
individuals in government loot our coffers, they, and not their village
folk, should take individual responsibility for their misappropriation.
If some crazy, demonic fanatic goes on a murderous rampage and blows up
guiltless Nigerians, the blood of the innocents should be on that
individual person’s hands and not on all the people who read the same
scripture as him.
In
the 52 years that we have existed as an independent country, terrible
things have happened to Nigeria; gross amounts of abuse, loathing and
corruption have underlined our existence. But with the bad, comes the
good because in those 52 years, wonderful things have also happened. I
have always believed Nigeria’s main asset is its people and diversity.
Whenever I meet a Nigerian abroad, the tribe they come from or the
stereotypes that their region is burdened with has never been a
consideration for me. The fact that they come from Nigeria always gives
me a sense of camaraderie and pride. Yes, we are different; different
customs, different foods, different languages, different attire,
different features and different beliefs but not so different that we
cannot respect and embrace those differences.
I
am a Hausa/Fulani from Katsina who is absolutely proud of my identity,
culture and heritage. But before that I am, first and foremost, a
Nigerian to my very core with the spirit and soul of my beloved
motherland. I am more than happy to come from the most populous,
interesting and diverse country in Africa.
This
nation is very complicated and disturbed, but through God’s will we
exist as a nation. And just like Beer Math, although we are a
complicated formula, the different and various people fated together
under this nation in theory does make sense to me. So if anybody tells
you that Nigeria can add and multiply its worth by subtracting a certain region and dividing the country, despite the fact that their words sound like it’s emanating from a beer parlour, tell them about the unconventional logic I showed you today in Beer Maths!
Ms Musawa a Nigerian lawyer based in the UK is a columnist of Premium Times and can be reached on twiter @hanneymusawa